A Cautionary Financial Tale from The Little Mermaid

Never Give Up Your Voice for Anybody!

Once upon a time, my young daughter became fixated on The Little Mermaid. As a dutiful mother, I indulged this obsession with mermaid accouterments galore. I even went all out one Halloween by impersonating, well, Ariel's mom.

Like all good parents, I played along, but as a cynical Wall Street coach, my spidey senses tingled about the dangerous lessons this fairy tale could impart to impressionable young girls concerning their financial security.

So, I wrote this revised tale featuring questionable sea witch pacts and tragic sacrificing of income-generating assets to teach Chica Wealth Builders about prudent money management. My version substitutes starry-eyed whimsy for cold hard facts. I hope you enjoy this present-day tongue-in-cheek exposé of strategic wealth building complete with finance tips inspired by the Disney story.

Here goes:

Ariel was a carefree mermaid princess who spent her days making underwater TikToks showcasing the sunken human treasures she found on her spelunking adventures. She had major dreams of making it big as an influencer in the human world above. Her grumpy crustacean manager Sebastian always warned her not to swim too close to the surface where the humans could spot her.

"Chica, if King Triton finds out you've been sharkin’ for content for the Gram up there, you'll be canceled for sure!" Sebastian clacked his claws in disapproval as Ariel posed in a shipwreck, pouting her lips for the hashtag #mermaidsoftiktok. But Ariel just flicked her fins and laughed it off. No hater was going to sink her dreams of making it big on land. 

Help Empower Other Women

If you received value from this newsletter, consider a gift option for your daughters, granddaughters, mom, grandma, female family members, friends, and colleagues. Remember that empowered women, empower women and entire communities. Help me do this!

One day while scouting new underwater #content, Ariel witnessed a massive storm destroy the yacht of human Prince Eric, the absolute zaddy and heir to an entire coastal kingdom. While Eric’s crew abandoned ship, Ariel rushed in and rescued the prince before he drowned in the shipwreck. She dragged his unconscious bod onto the shore while peeking thirstily under his soaked white t-shirt. Girl had it bad for this human hottie from first sight!

Ariel started straight up lurking around Eric’s coastal castle, popping her head out of the water to glimpse the broody prince who spent all day moping on his balcony. He was low-key obsessed with finding the mysterious vixen who had saved him from the wreck. Ariel was convinced this was fate and if she could just get Eric alone, they would instantly have a little mermaid fairytale romance!

In her desperation, Ariel made the first of her finances fumbles - she went to the Internet’s problematic fave, the undersea witch Ursula. Shady Ursula offered Ariel a straight-up suspicious deal: 3 days as a human in exchange for Ariel’s voice. And if Eric didn’t fall in love and kiss Ariel to make it permanent, she would revert back to a mermaid and have to work for Ursula forever!

Throwing all caution to the tides, Ariel signed the skeevy contract without even reading it. She was too thirsty for those human legs and for a chance to shoot TikToks dancing on the castle grounds next to her new future Netflix heartthrob boo. In an instant, Ariel's fin was snapped into a pair of legs infinity-pool ready!

But hustling her way into Eric’s boujie AF ball all Insta-model gorgeous but voiceless, Ariel quickly realized she was in over her head. Without her voice, she had zero clout or status in the human world, and nothing to hold Eric’s interest when her initial novelty as the shiny new court hottie wore off.

Girlfriend should have taken a beat and focused on a long-term strategy to build real wealth and independence instead of chasing this prince like a fleeting TikTok trend. Let’s get some Chica Wealth Knowledge:

Money mistake #1 - Chasing clout over cash flow

Ariel was so thirsty for viral attention and reality TV love that she gave up her most valuable asset - her voice - and compromised her future agency. Don't silence your talents or leverage your future just for some temporary clout! Stay focused on assets and skills that create true wealth.